Sweet moments of parenthood

During the sweetest moments of parenthood, our relationship with our kids is at its best, we cannot imagine a rift forming between us However, at one time or another, we have had to work through difficult seasons to figure out how to make amends with our kids.

If this describes you, please know you're not alone. There are things you can do to start bridging the gap between you and your children. Here are a few things to prayerfully consider:

1 Ask Questions: Parents are at a loss as to why there's a rift between them and their children. Somewhere along the way, the drift has wider with each passing year. It could be as minor as poor communication or as significant as an emotional wound that has never healed. Asking heartfelt questions to get to the root of the issue is an essential step in amending your relationship. However, you'll need to be ready for the answers. Whether the conflict is your fault or not, chances are, your child will have a lot to say, the important thing to remember is you might not get the answer you're hoping for. Be ready to receive whatever your kids tell you without letting defensiveness take over. Prayer: Lord, help me ask the right questions at the right time and bridge the gap, Thank You for giving me wisdom when I ask. In Jesus' name, amen.

2 Listen Well: One reason kids feel disconnected from their parents is the very fact that they feel they are not heard. Maybe your parenting style has always been to lecture and expects your child to remain silent. Or in desperation to amend the relationship you flood the conversation with everything on your mind. I get it. Listening well isn't always easy, but it's a huge step in letting your child know you care. Even if you have a lot to say, try to listen first and listen well. Resist jumping in, interrupting, and trying to get your point across. A simple nod or statement such as "I never thought of it that way" will help keep the conversation going. “There’s a time to be silent and a time to speak." (Ecclesiastes 3:7) The better you listen, the more opportunities you'll have to amend your relationship. A Prayer: Lord, help me listen to my children without needing to interject my opinions. Please provide opportunities for my children to access my undivided attention and prevent me from speaking too much. In the name of Jesus, amen.

3. Admit your Faults: Admitting our faults doesn't come naturally we tend to cover up our mistakes and forget them. But when it comes to faults with our kids, admitting them is a healthy step in moving past them. Keep in mind that your child's view of things might differ from yours. You might be tempted to argue about the details when, in reality, there's usually a root issue that needs to be addressed. stick to the main facts without getting lost in the mud, and admit to your mistakes without making excuses even if your child doesn't accept your admissions right away, they see that you've made an effort and are willing to accept how you've contributed to the problem. If your child brings up a fault that you have no recollection of, be honest and let them know that even though you don't remember, you will take it to heart. Instead of telling them, they are wrong, ask for time to process it and pray about it. This kind of response is difficult to argue and will let your child understand you are committed to resolving the conflict. James 5:16 says, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. A Prayer: Gracious God, thank You for being faithful to forgive us when we confess our sins to You. Please help us confess our faults to our kids without making excuses, Lord, heal our relationship with them. In the precious name of Jesus, amen.

4. Let Things Go: You'll need to let things go when trying to make amends with your kids. Whether it’s a thing they said or did, letting it go is often the best choice. This can be difficult, especially if we feel like we are owed an apology, James 3:17 says that wisdom from above is "willing to yield." As Christ-followers, we yield first to the Holy Spirit, but we also yield to one another in brotherly love. Our human nature is to hold onto things, but the nature of God is to forgive and let go. Try to discern the things to let go of and consider questions like Is this a root issue or a surface issue? Will letting go draw my child closer to God? As with many issues in life, things feel bigger in our minds when, in actuality, they are better left alone. Imagine the peace that would come if you let longstanding issues between you and your child go. It's worth praying about as you seek to amend your relationship. A Prayer: Heavenly Father, you know how difficult it is for me to let something go, but I trust you to handle it. Please give me discernment as to which things I need to address and the ones I need to release. In the holy name of Jesus, amen.

5. Realize it Might Not Happen: The more time passes without amending our relationship with our kids, the more discouraged we become. However, we must realize that things don't always happen in our timing. If this is where you find yourself today, give it time. Utilize this difficult season to pray and enlist a small prayer team of trusted people who will join you, keep a journal of the small wins - signs that God is working in your child's life and bringing them one step closer to a healthy relationship with Him and with you.2 Peter 3:15 says, "Bear in mind that our Lord's patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him." Realize you might not be making amends yet, but nothing is impossible with God. Keep persevering and trusting that God's got this. He's got you. A Prayer: Holy God, please give me the strength to persevere with my children and not give up. Help me be patient in the waiting. Lead us to amend this relationship within Your timing. In Jesus' name, amen.